We learn from our early childhood on good manners, respect and to be gentle. Our parents, grandparents, teachers and maybe older siblings teach us how to eat with a spoon, fork and knife, to not slurp, burp, gobble and to eat noisily. We learn to take a shower from time to time, to brush our hair and to cut our nails, to wear fresh and clean clothes, to not hit or insult someone, to not spit around us and how to speak formally. Good job.
I know so good how it feels to sit next to someone who doesn’t closes his mouth, who entertains the whole place with his eating habits (which is super great when your sitting in any kind of public place). We know how it is to look at dirty nails, fatty hair or to have a sweaty and smelly person right next to us who didn’t see the shower since a while… The embarrassing feeling when you talk to someone who causes more than 5 times in each sentence especially when your surrounded by others… There are so many more, really not acceptable behaviors nobody ever needs so that we should be super greatful and happy that we were raised up with a harsh hand of someone who just meant it good for us…. Who wanted us to be good and gentle.
But what is about being always nice to everyone even if they don’t deserve it, in some cases don’t deserve it at all? Why are there so so many people out there who allow others to treat them like nothing but still being kind and quiet just to avoid arguments or a bad situations ?
I had this friend who was in a very abusive and horrible relationship. Her boyfriend (today her dear husband) beats her up on a regular basis, cheats on her as much as he can, steals her money and lies like you can’t imagine.He doesn’t want to work and sits in casinos or on the sofa watching tv all day while she brings a good income home…A “normal” person would have kick him out and reported him already but she doesn’t. She kept being quiet, cooks his favorite dinner and tries to make him happy. When I or another friend tried to help her and to find a way to open her eyes she became super mad with us. She has so much hope that he will change to good. Well nothing changed, it even got worse after getting married and having 2 little kids…
Oh and the case of a very nice, good hearted and generous elderly European lady who lives here in Morocco. Her 25 years old “secretary” who she met around 8 years ago in a small, very poor village in the Berber mountains, stole around 450.000 euros by signing her guesthouse on his name and sold it ( she gave him the total power attorney to deal with her belongings, of course authorized by the government). She bought him a car so that he can drive her around if she needs to go grocery shopping or whatever and he rented it out on tourists while she carried heavy shopping bags on her own home. She gave him her checkbook with all her signatures in and he took money from the bank. All the money she gave him to pay her bills off with, he used it for parties, Moroccan and European girls in his age, clothes, alcohol oh and don’t let me forget his brand new Range Rover…She knew all that and complained about his behaviour. But today? Well today she isn’t allowed to leave Morocco with her 75 years because she owns the government so much money, money she was supposed to pay for taxes and other things, money she trusted him with. Today she has nothing anymore, not even friends. Her pension she receives from Europe isn’t high enough to pay her debts off and her normal living costs. But he still gets his paycheck each month. Yes, he still “works” for her….
What is it ?! Sex?! Not enough self confidence ?! What makes people to give someone else the power to destroy and make their lifes miserable?
I for example learned how to only surround myself with a few, great people. People I can trust, people I can talk to, have a good time with. I don’t need many around me, I don’t need to be always nice and kind especially if I don’t like someone. I don’t need to speak with everyone. I don’t need to be gentle just because everybody does, especially not to someone I don’t like. I don’t need to open my door to everyone and let people come to close to me just because it’s good to have many “friends”. Well it’s actually not and I don’t own anything to anyone. Not a crazy neighbor, a person I know since a long time or even a family member I don’t get along with. I only own something very simple to myself: A happy, less worrie and stressful life.
How I always say, life is to beautiful and to short to waste it with bad feelings and bad people….